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Profile
My name is Melvin Lim. I'm 18.
i was born on 30th October 1991.
currently studying in science college.
occupation _______. wants to become RICH RICH & marry a Korean =D
15 Jan - Junsu [2PM]
25 Jan - Junho [2PM]
11 Feb - Chansung[2PM]
25 Apr - Jaebum [2PM]
30 Apr - Wooyoung [2PM]
24 Jun - Nichkhun [2PM]
30 Oct - ME !!!!
27 Dec - Taecyeon [2PM]
stress?
sigh.. its holidays now... i'm so bored at home... nothing much to do... even i dont have time to post up that often... my sis is currently fighting the pc with me... she's watching her drama series... i finished two hongkong drama series though... Legend of the Demigods and Moonlight Resonance... both are really nice... *thumbs up* but there's no more tvb series i can watch coz i need to wait for the next upcoming one... maybe i should start off with the revision... BUT i dont really have the mood....
what happened to me ??? i dont understand... i've been thinking a lot recently... i'm afraid... insecure... scared... every night i go to bed, i would think a lot of stuffs and the past and the current and the future... O Levels exam is around the corner... yet i havent start studying... sigh... i need some motivation but motivation talk is not meant for me... what if my results arent that good? am i able to get the scholarship next year? i wish i can get it but i'm afraid... i'm unsure... i'm lost... i hope i can get the scholarship and leave to uk next year... hopefully with my few buddies (you guys know who you are)... i'm currently stressed out on this... sigh...
i cant sleep last few nights... been thinking too much... i've been thinking, one day we will all be apart... departing on different journeys... at that time, we will not be together anymore... those lucky ones might stand a chance getting together... i cant imagine my future... i'm really afraid that i will lost my buddies... T.T ... what can i do? i'm LOST... i'm CONFUSED... sometimes i felt difficult to breathe at times because i'm thinking about those... i have to relax and calm down.. sigh...
have you been thinking why you are not perfect in life? you feel like giving your life away?... i kept on thinking that i'm retarded... not ideal enough.. not perfect... i'm not perfect... i'm just a loser... why? why on earth am i created like that? I'm SO FAT... i hate it so much when i feel that i am soo blubberishhh... i hate it so much... i have to force myself to buy all those L and XL shirts... wear all those loose and baggy shirt to cover all those fats and big tummy... wearing a big size pants??? i hate them... i'm so frustrated... I WANNA GET RID OF THEM !!! i just dont have the confidence in me just because i'm fat... imagine that you cant wear those nice clothers just because you are fat and there's not a single size suit for you... AHHH !!! WHY?? sometimes, i feel like taking a knife and cut out all the fats stored underneath my skin... i even tried not eating from the morning till night... maybe just a few slices of fruits and water... BUT I JUST CANT!!! it just stays there haunting me everyday... should i try to committ suicide? thats a ridiculous thought, seriously... why should you give away your life because of that? thats nonsense... i've tried a lot to make myself perfect but i just failed everytime... i've tried to exercise everyday and stop eating sooo much but in reality, i dont eat that much either... i cant drive... i dont have a convenient transport... i cant go to a gym and burn those FATS off... i'm so ugly with those fats... i wanna get rid of them but HOW??? HOW can i get rid of them? i've tried my best but i always FAILED !!! i'm a damn loser... if my sons or daughters are fat in the future, i would torture them or spend my whole money on them just to make them slim down... i would starve them!!! i just dont like the word FAT... my wish -> to get rid of all those fats...
