birthdays...
30th October
remember that yeahhh... hhahahaha.... its on our O Level Physics practical... the day before that judges my MOOD!!! BIOLOGY PAPER 1 and 2.... bwohhh...
oohhh yeahhh... special dedications to my Pretty Mommy... its her birthday today... awww...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MOMMY !!!
LOVES forever....
my dad and my mom... hahahha...
yummy.... my mom's cake... its from Pasteriesss (not sure of the spelling).... XD
Lats but not least, HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOMMY !!! LOVE YOUU !!!!
nytes x)
pssttt... my birthday is around the corner... hehehe... *hints*
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
moment to be treasured... EMPIRE !!!
a moment to be treasured... empire sleepover on the 19th July 2008, i guess... yeahh should be correct... people who went were as follows:
1. me 2. my sis 3.kokhui 4. hean 5. sheng 6.kokli 7.benny ong 8. huoy shin 9.sylves 10.wenzhi 11.ian lim
i guess thats all... just the 11 of us... hahahah... let me recall back... *rewinds* okays.... i remember that it was a Saturday... supposingly me, hean n wenzhi have physics class but thank god its cancelled... so i went home directly... my stuffs were all ready packed... hean n wenzhi have tuitions i guess... my sis n me went to check in at Empire first... we were given a room at the Lagoon... wasnt satisfied so we changed room to the Main Building.... yay!!! finally, PARADISE!!! then, the others soon arrived... we all rushed to the swimming pools... yeahhh they all were diving into the pools except me... T.T i cant go into the pool coz i'm too superstitious... i was advised not to enter the pool for that month coz its reaching the Hungry Ghost Festival... so i ended up sitting there looking at them swimming... i can play with the water tho but just not entering...
waited for a while n hean messaged me saying that they already reach there after their tuitions... hahahha... so i went up to fetch them... i went from the bottom and asked them to come down from the lobby to the ground level... yeahhh i saw them... they saw me as well... but i quickly ran off to the pathway leading to the hotel rooms... they cant catch me at first coz i was too fast??? hahahah... they went to the wrong way at first but i signalled them... they saw me!!! LOL... XD i quickly ran towards the lift area... i wasnt able to run coz my toe still hurts at that time.... remember??? my freaking painful little toe... awww... they caught me... so i brought them to the room... both hean and wenzhi saw the box full of sandwiches and gobbled up the food... i made them... hahahah... upon request by wenzhi... LOL... then, i hustled them to go down... i actually ran !!! my toe didnt hurt that much at the moment tho... *phew* wow!!! wenzhi almost catch up me but hean was still at the back... we reached the pool!!! ahahhaa... childish...
we reached the pool and both of them dived into the pool as well except ME !!! arghhh... sad... but i had great times with them beside the pool as well... i was the camera man !!! hahahhaha... at least, i have a role... nyehehehe.. =p omg !!! at this time, it was really funny coz the others were acting soooo like funny... hean climbed n sat above benny ong's neck... i took a picture of them as they requested... looked like gay... no offence yeahh.... hehehhe... just being open... not insulting... so called the guys gaying in the pool.... i was the spectator.... well being the spectator was so much fun compared to the others in the pool... soon, we went to the beach... its almost SUNSET !!! yay !!! so we went to the artificial beach... played with sand... throwing at each other ending up entering at one's eyes.... hahahah.... sorry.... xD took pictures... yeahhh we were vain... vain peoples... i accidentally spoilt sylves's camera... I'M SO SORRY !!! I APOLOGISE !!! its malfunctioning temporarily, i guess... sad... suddenly, droplets of rain !!! we rushed back into the hotel room... HAHAHA... luckily the rain wasnt heavy.... thank god.... =D
then, everyone took their turns taking shower while some of us waited for a long time.... the priority was given to those responsible for buying outside foods.... hahahah... we ate NASI KATOK n some instant noodles... it was my first time eating nasi katok... LOL... what a shame... hehehehe... makan makan makan.... and its GAME TIME !!! heheheh... WII !!! i love the tennis so much... btw, we played CIRCLE OF DEATH.... which means there's ALCOHOL !!! i'm lovin' it... do you know what? i'm actually an alcoholic.. i crave for alcohol at times... at that time, we had vodka.... GREAT TIMES !!! we had a lot of fun.... we played circle of death... ling ling chat... 5 10 15... king kong kang kong game... I WASNT DRUNK !!! wenzhi is super hyper... hean was okay okay... quite blur... i was perfectly not drunk... at the end, everyone ended sleeping except for me, benny ong n kokhui.... we ended up playing ian's wii... we played golf at first.. so many holes to play... then kokhui went to sleep leaving me n benny ong playing bowling... after that, he went to sleep as well... I WAS ALONE !!! luckily, there's wii... i played wii the whole night till the next morning... i cant sleep coz of the alcohol... it keeps me awake but actually alcohol should act as a depressant n makes ppl sleep.... but it got the reversed effect on me.... ahahhah... i stayed awake the whole night playing wii.... not doing anything else.... hahahaha....
the dawn break and its morning... sylves was the earliest to wake up, i guess... so he played wii... i rested for a while after looking at the invisible sunrise... there's no sunrise.... BORING... hahahah... i rested for like an hour plus plus then woke up as the sun is scorching hot... i played wii again.... now its the King Kong game.... HAHAHA... it was soooo fun n NOISY.... it almost woke up the others.... actually, that my intention.. asking them to wake up n go down for a swim... dont waste the opportunity... everyone woke up except ian... he was still asleep... hahaha... benny ong n his sis didnt join us coz they're leaving soon... so the others went down... hean n wenzhi still up there.. i went down waiting for the kayak... ended up delayed again coz its not open.... stupid la.... soon, i play KAYAK... at last... lol... i love kayak so much... my partner was koksheng.... he was nervous so i advised him not to move.... hahahah... he really didnt move... XD.... the other boat was hean n wenzhi.... yay !!! we didnt trip over unlike them.... they chose the wrong team... i'm pro in kayaking lehhh !!! hahahah... it only applies at the empire man made lagoon beach.... heheheh.... after that, they went swimming... i didnt went into the pool... just playing beside the pool... hahahha... my toe hurts... xD... btw, a lot of KOREANS !!! but there's none of the pretty teen girls there.... all like families... i can actually understand a little of what they're saying... ohhh yeahh.... my sis n my friends ordered this drink from the pool bar... blended mango juice with coconut milk... errr... they said its nice but i dont really like the heavy coconut milk... thats why it end up hean making it everytime we go to wenzhi's house... err well not always... heheheh....
soon the empire sleepover is finally over.... had fun eventhough i didnt went into the pool... hehehehe... sadly we werent able to stay there longer coz the freaking idiotic receptionist dont allow us to extend the check out time... ggrrr... i ended up having a nap... LOL... xD
its all in the past but i'm treasuring it well... sorry no photos... hehehe... malas to put up although it will make my blog look nicer... hahahhah...
treasure every moments spent with my friends..... =]
Saturday, September 27, 2008
love...
LOVE...
what can i say about love? Love is dangerous... Love is blind... Love is everything... and that goes on foverer... whats so big deal about love?? so what if you have a relationship?? boyfriends... girlfriends... are all that necessary? wait... let me clarify it here... i'm not against love or having relationship yeahh... be open la... come one... think like a matured adult... basically i'll be mentioning about my opinion in love lifes n myself... hahahah...
i'm a grown adult... and yet i dont have a girlfriend... why? maybe its because my family is particularly strict in these kind of stuff... i havent found the girl yet... i'm not into relationships yet... *please note that all those i've done before is just merely testing or playing... hahahah... sorry yeahh... no offence... i apologize sincerely... LOL... plus i gained a lot of experience from people surrounding me... conclusion: "love is really scary" ... maybe i dont have the guts to have a relationship? besides that, people kept on saying "aiyaa just play play mahh"... "dump her after u bored with her or u 'touched' her" ... why do you wanna play? come on lar... get serious and settle down... its not good hurting someone or ending up hurting yourself right? whats the point? i'm now like almost 17 and all those uncles and aunties whom didnt see you for a long time will go....
aunties/uncles: wahh so tall n handsome liao... how old liao?
me : hehehe... this year coming 17 liao
aunties/uncles: wahhh big liao lor... aiyaa must got girlfriend one (laughs). got girlfriend?
me : hehehe... not yet la...
aunties/uncles: haaarr? not yet ahh... dont pretend la...
i mean like wtf is wrong with them? okays.. i should thank them for asking... hahahaha... what to do? i guess i'm not qualified to have a serious relationship... well look at me... what do you see in me? nothing right??? HAHAHAH... its just that i havent find my ideal or dream girl yet... soon... maybe soon... i dont believe in love until the moments come... maybe i'm still not sure... i'm confused, i guess... come to think... LOVE is like a huge thing... hmmmm... *thinking* why i dont have a girlfriend until now?
QUESTIONS!!!
Am i a gay??? hmmm... definitely not... i dont have the thoughts of having a partner of the same sex... not acceptable... doesnt even pop up in my mind... do i like girls? yeahhh but in a good way... at least i dont "misuse" the word "girls"... or maybe i should put it like that...
Am i attracted to females? yeahhh sounds better... yeahh i am but that doesnt applies in brunei... well, maybe just a few in brunei... a LOT from singapore... hahahaha... okays... i wanna meet some Korean girls... lol... thats why i'm not into relationship now because you seldom find Koreans in brunei... i know a girl whose interest quite similar to me -> like Koreann soo muchh... Korean fanatic but the thing is "who am i to like her?"... i dont even have the qualifications to like her... i'm just a piece of jerk... next question...
Am i attracted to males? errr... what can i say about this? hmmm... i do like the actors in some of my favourite drama series... hongkong drama series... is that counted? i like them in the series... am i counted attracted to males?? or its just fans-stars thing... common thing, i guess? i'm just opposite to other people... i like actors n stars but others like sports icon??? isnt that like the same thing... its just different interests... i'm not into football so why do i have to like football players... i prefer watching drama series and thats why i like some of the actors... see the difference??? i hope so... eventhough i am to be attracted to males, that would be very difficult because my expectations are very very very high... thats why i dont have any girlfriends now... expectations are too high.... hmmmm... so if i am attracted to both female n male, how??? does that mean i am a bisexual? *confused* i'm really putting myself into this state of confusion... maybe i am bisexual? maybe i am not? i am bisexual? i'm not bisexual.... SHIT !!! i'm not sure... so what if i know? just let it flow with the rhythm... sounds wrong... hahahhah...
there's a lot about love life but i guess i'll just end my part here... cant think that much... if not, later i'll end up confused and blur... to my Miss Right or Miss Perfect out there, i'll be waiting for you.... hahahah.... i dont mind not having any girlfriends now... i'm not jealous of others... ENVY is one of the seven deadly sins.... xD
nytes X)
i love my life and i want it to be like that....
Friday, September 26, 2008
love or studies?
LOVE... studies...
love or studies comes first? in my opinion, studies comes first... oh yeahh... the love here i meant is not the family love... its the real LOVE... boyfriend and girlfriends.... hahahaha... think about it, i still place studies first then, love... YES, i admit i am a geek or a nerd or whatsoever... WHY?? dont ask me why... just born like that...
STUDIES !!!
first thing, sigh... i've been like sighing a lot in my blog... maybe its just a habit... cant change... HAHAHA... hmmm... studies is very important to me and it is killing me as well... i'm not being arrogant and trying to show off here BUT all are just facts... you just have to accept it no matter what... i've been the top THREEs since i was young at primary 1 up until now... yeahh go on... go on saying i'm a nerd... dont have life.... just love to read read and simply study.... hahaha... maybe thats because i've been competing with others over the years.... it's DAMN EXHAUSTING, you know... you wouldnt want to compete... its not that easy as you think... i told myself not to compete anymore last year during my form four... finally, i accepted it and kept onto ONE aim of studiess... what's the use competing with others just to get the top 3 positions... last year, i didnt compete with the damn excellent and kiasu competitors and yet, i got the 4th position... i can still get that position???? its impossible... HAHAHAH... i've been repeating to myself "ohhh you've done a great job, melvin"... well, that actually comfort me a lot... at least i dont go emotional break down just because of my results... do yeah... why do i need to compete??? WHY??? my only aim is to achieve all As... i dont give a damn to my position in class but i just want a CONSISTENT As in my results... thats all.... i dont care if i'm the last position but most important is all As... whats the use of getting the top of the top in class when got Bs Cs or even Ds... sad right???
O Levels coming soon... i'm really worried... cant sleep at night... thinking about the upcoming O Levels... am i able to perform well?? how i wish i can... i havent start revisions yet... perhaps i should start soon... in a few days, maybe... hahhah... *roll eyes*.... i dont know... i need to be motivated.... my thoughts are weird... "If u got a B C or D in ur result, you wont be able to get the scholarship" OMG.... i've got high goals right??? sigh... its difficult to be me sometimes... too complicated... i'm weird... sometimes, i think that if you dont perform well in ur O Levels, thats it... ur life just end like that.... you'll just be a rubbish to the society... helpless.. useless... well that only applies to me... NOT to others... so no offence to others... i am very demanding... and thats why its leading to a lot of problems eventually, STRESS !!! yeahh... influence from my cousins as well... they are all good in their studies... i must keep my results consistent and up to date... i need to break their records... i guess i broke the PMB record... 7A1s 1A2... i guess thats quite good in my family record... my cousins are like scholarship holders... 4 of them left... 4 still here including me... so i hope that I CAN DO WELL and LEAVE NEXT YEAR !!! woohooo....
studies is everything... its ur future... we decide our future... whether or not to perform well, its up to us... if we fail, thats all... you can try again but it takes time... might as well u success n life go on normally... my ambition is to be a doctor... i wish i can do that... hopefully, in many years time, i can have the title Dr.Lim or Dr.Melvin... hahahaha... sounds great... maybe my whole family can set up a mini clinic or health centre with my uncle as the head... HAHAHA... my uncle is currently an oncologist with his wife as a high ranked dentist... Jonathan and Tzia Ming are both studying Medicine... and maybe HuiJin (my younger cousin) should be taking Medicine as well... I'm planning to take Medicine as well... hahahah.... so strive hard, work smart, achieve SUCCESS !!!
for the LOVE part... to be continued.... =]
Thursday, September 25, 2008
stress?
what happened to me ??? i dont understand... i've been thinking a lot recently... i'm afraid... insecure... scared... every night i go to bed, i would think a lot of stuffs and the past and the current and the future... O Levels exam is around the corner... yet i havent start studying... sigh... i need some motivation but motivation talk is not meant for me... what if my results arent that good? am i able to get the scholarship next year? i wish i can get it but i'm afraid... i'm unsure... i'm lost... i hope i can get the scholarship and leave to uk next year... hopefully with my few buddies (you guys know who you are)... i'm currently stressed out on this... sigh...
i cant sleep last few nights... been thinking too much... i've been thinking, one day we will all be apart... departing on different journeys... at that time, we will not be together anymore... those lucky ones might stand a chance getting together... i cant imagine my future... i'm really afraid that i will lost my buddies... T.T ... what can i do? i'm LOST... i'm CONFUSED... sometimes i felt difficult to breathe at times because i'm thinking about those... i have to relax and calm down.. sigh...
have you been thinking why you are not perfect in life? you feel like giving your life away?... i kept on thinking that i'm retarded... not ideal enough.. not perfect... i'm not perfect... i'm just a loser... why? why on earth am i created like that? I'm SO FAT... i hate it so much when i feel that i am soo blubberishhh... i hate it so much... i have to force myself to buy all those L and XL shirts... wear all those loose and baggy shirt to cover all those fats and big tummy... wearing a big size pants??? i hate them... i'm so frustrated... I WANNA GET RID OF THEM !!! i just dont have the confidence in me just because i'm fat... imagine that you cant wear those nice clothers just because you are fat and there's not a single size suit for you... AHHH !!! WHY?? sometimes, i feel like taking a knife and cut out all the fats stored underneath my skin... i even tried not eating from the morning till night... maybe just a few slices of fruits and water... BUT I JUST CANT!!! it just stays there haunting me everyday... should i try to committ suicide? thats a ridiculous thought, seriously... why should you give away your life because of that? thats nonsense... i've tried a lot to make myself perfect but i just failed everytime... i've tried to exercise everyday and stop eating sooo much but in reality, i dont eat that much either... i cant drive... i dont have a convenient transport... i cant go to a gym and burn those FATS off... i'm so ugly with those fats... i wanna get rid of them but HOW??? HOW can i get rid of them? i've tried my best but i always FAILED !!! i'm a damn loser... if my sons or daughters are fat in the future, i would torture them or spend my whole money on them just to make them slim down... i would starve them!!! i just dont like the word FAT... my wish -> to get rid of all those fats...
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
friends...
let me see... *digging into my world of imaginations and memories (aka brain larr)* what to write ahh?? macam banyak usulnya arah my head... hmph... lets reminisce... I'LL talk about some of my friends from the chinatown.... as for the malays, tunggu ahhh... Kakak, kapek, amal, tiqah n banyakk lar.... long one to write... since its holidays, i can post up more... hopefully got people come n read.... if not, banar rusty tu... HAHAHAH.... xD i'm somehow copyrighting kakak's ideas but in a different way but same format... so kakak, sorry ahhh n thanks for the ideas... xD
lets have a list of the Chinatowns in school whom I am quite close to them(starting from MA5B):
1. Olivia 2. Yap 3. Natalie 4. Shien 5. Yee Siu
6. Fiona 7.Meng Wee 8. Sharon 9. Jocelyn 10. Mei Zhu
11. Wen Xin 12. Wee Hean 13. Wen Zhi 14. Sabrina 15. Hui Yi
yup... i didnt include the others coz all of those mentioned above considered buddies... some r from primary... some i just met n really rock my life... hahahha...
p/s: please be open here... i'll put whatever in here... to be censored one as well.... nyehehe~ no offence... *angelic*
Tuesday, September 16, 2008